Today in Celebrity Birthdays

Elvis would be 75.  If he hadn’t died of drugs, of course.  But he did, so all we get is a doughnut.

Top Pot doughnuts made a Maple Bacon Doughnut in honor of the King.  They were only available at the Belltown location and by the time I got there at 8:20 a.m. there was only one left.  I actually had to threaten 3 cops in order to get it.

In hindsight, perhaps threatening cops in a coffee shop might have been something I should have shied away from.  Possibly because that’s a sensitive subject.  Luckily, I am Caucasian and goofy looking.  Also, the officers probably figured that a bacon, maple, doughnut might kill me just as effectively as if they had shot me… with less paperwork.

In any case, celebrate the King today; I did it with a delicious doughnut.  Other acceptable ways to honor Elvis could be:

  • Bringing culture and music to white people
  • Star in a movie
  • Visit Memphis
  • Take a lot of drugs…
  • … and/or die of a possible overdose
  • Balloon in size, become a caricature of yourself and get a show in Vegas


Today in Celebrity Birthdays

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