Elvis would be 75. If he hadn’t died of drugs, of course. But he did, so all we get is a doughnut.
Top Pot doughnuts made a Maple Bacon Doughnut in honor of the King. They were only available at the Belltown location and by the time I got there at 8:20 a.m. there was only one left. I actually had to threaten 3 cops in order to get it.
In hindsight, perhaps threatening cops in a coffee shop might have been something I should have shied away from. Possibly because that’s a sensitive subject. Luckily, I am Caucasian and goofy looking. Also, the officers probably figured that a bacon, maple, doughnut might kill me just as effectively as if they had shot me… with less paperwork.
In any case, celebrate the King today; I did it with a delicious doughnut. Other acceptable ways to honor Elvis could be:
- Bringing culture and music to white people
- Star in a movie
- Visit Memphis
- Take a lot of drugs…
- … and/or die of a possible overdose
- Balloon in size, become a caricature of yourself and get a show in Vegas