Lake Superior Sate University (wherever that is) came out with a list of words that should be VERBOTEN in the coming year. I came across the list of words as I was chillaxin’ on the internet a while back, reading through a ridiculous number of blog posts (I was distracting myself from all the sexting I had been involved in). I thought to myself, “shoot, I should tweet that, I’m essentially the Czar of Twitter, after all”.
In these economic times, however, I was forced to rethink my reliance on Twitter. What happens when the next big thing comes along? Will I have to re-educate people about which words not to use? I know Twitter may seem too big to fail, but didn’t we assume that in the past? Where will that kind of thinking land us? WHERE?!
After taking a moment to mourn the passing of my bromance with Twitter, I realized that this was a teachable moment. I could talk about this banned word list on my blog. Then disseminate that information via Twitter, Facebook, carrier pigeon and the collection of old aunties I am related to (collectively referred to as the Italian News Network, or INN). That way, if any of the aforementioned entities go tits up from toxic assets of one form or another, my dubious brilliance will live on.
The only question was how to talk about these words so that my loyal audience (assuming that at least one of you is loyal, or that there is one of you) wouldn’t get bored with me faster than the US populace got bored with Obama-care. I thought maybe my normal shtick of “writing words down” might not be enough. Quickly I brainstormed additional ideas and they were hilarious, impractical and ridiculous. I thought about creating an iPhone app, a youtube video of an interpretive art-piece (entitled “The Scapula Embargo”), and some sort of flickr montage. Then of course I came to my senses, my blog post was shovel-ready, all it needed was a few simple words and some polish. Without further ado, I give you the list of words that should no longer be used in 2010 (and in the interests of transparency, I must let you know that I used every single one of them in this post):