IE9 drops a big, smelly blog in my lap

This isn’t even fair any more. I feel like I am beating up kittens. Giant, billion-dollar, attempting-to-destroy-everything-while-jamming-needles-in-my-eyes, kittens. I mean, I don’t even need to try to come up with horrible things about IE9, and I haven’t even finished the installation yet. I probably never will. This blog writes it self. Sigh.

Ok. As an experiment, Google (or, if you’re retarded, Bing… though on second thought, don’t, it’s really, really unusable for this experiment) “download Firefox 4”. The first link on page takes me to a screen that has a big button to download Firefox. It’s got little letters underneath it that let me know it’s gotten the right OS and language.

Do the same with IE9. What. The. Fuck. The first link looks like the right answer, until you notice the ad above it. The sponsored link looks more right than the number 1 Google hit. This is because when Microsoft created the Testdrive page (instead of putting it on the IE9 or IE9 beta page) they screwed themselves over. Hard.

Click either of those two links (they both get you to the same place, eventually). Then click “get it now” (cause you didn’t want to make it easy!). Now find your language of choice and, using the drop-down menu, select the correct option out of the FOUR available. FOUR. This isn’t Starbucks, and if Microsoft can’t tell what version of their OS I am running either on their web site OR in a downloadable installer, they should just off themselves now and save someone else the trouble.

If you possess more patience than this, install the IE9 beta. Make sure you have a sandwich. It takes that long. Really. Now that you’re all done with the installation, boot up IE9 to finally see how Microsoft is joining the modern web age.

What? It requires you to restart your machine to use a web browser? Fuck this. Nothing is worth this hassle, not even a Steve Jobs BJ simulator (which, as of this writing doesn’t exist yet).


IE9 drops a big, smelly blog in my lap

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