Congress needs to hurry up and save Netflix

Seriously, I don’t know what I’ll do if we lose Netflix. I’d say “get a life”, but that’s… unlikely. How could I live in a world where terrible indie flicks, amazing kung-fu movies and Futurama were not available to stream from my phone/tv/computer/microwave? But I digress…

You might be wondering what assault Netflix could be under (since, in it’s natural habitat, it has no predators… like a lemur) and also what Congress could possibly do about it. Really, ‘flix is just collateral damage in the war on mail.

“Oh”, you might be thinking, “screw the USPS, I already get everything shipped to me from Amazon Fresh/UPS/FedEx/Mom”. Too true my friend, too true! But just think of all of those times you’ve come home, after a day of patiently waiting like starved mongoose for your delivery, only to find one of those fucking notes on your door. You know, the ones that specify, via an obscure logic tree that goddamn Turing couldn’t walk through, how to get your package, if there’s to be a second attempt, and if you have already spoken the correct incantation to Flubonx, Dark God of Logistics. No one wants to be this guy.

Now imagine that pain each and every time you want your Netflix. Call congress today.

yuk

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Congress needs to hurry up and save Netflix

3 thoughts on “Congress needs to hurry up and save Netflix

    1. i mean… it’s not really. just that the USPS is maybe going to default on some billions of dollars it owes. the NYT says that will cause the USPS to shut down (and thus netflix), others disagree.

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